Star Trek Picard

Collected Thoughts on Picard

Starting to watch Star Trek Picard and already regretting it.

“sometimes you talk to me as if I were a benign old codger.” There is no meaning of the word benign that fits this circumstance. This is a sentence that would never be spoken. Even if you were to take benign as “kindly” it wouldn’t make sense in the scene.

They clearly meant “sometimes you talk to me as if I were an addled old man in need of coddling.”

You shouldn’t be breaking my brain with terrible writing five minutes in.

I feel like Orson Welles…. “Get me a jury and show me how you can say ‘in July’ and I’ll go down on you”


Apparently a battle from 1940 was the best analogy that Picard could pick from all of history to explain his evacuation of “enemy forces” to the future version of Fox News? Also, flammable vapors in Mars’ stratosphere? Which vapors are those?


“This one attack on a human colony led to a total ban on synthetics”

“Yeah that was dumb and sorta racist”

“What about your relationship with your buddy synthetic commander Data?”

Guys, did you hear that all muslims were painted as the bad guys and that was stupid?


“The decision to call off the rescue and to abandon the people we had sworn to save was not just dishonorable, it was downright criminal…. you’re a stranger to history, you’re a stranger to war…”

Guys, Star Trek is a totally reasonable platform to criticize Trump for withdrawing troops from Syria. Did you know that Star Trek has long been a vehicle for promoting unending military intervention and proxy warfare under the thin guise of humanitarian efforts?


Guys I can’t make this up.

“there’s no legacy as rich as honesty, who said that number one?”

Well that’s that’s my boy Willy S. from All’s Well that Ends Well and interpreted within context means:

“The honor (or worth, and honor is mentioned because they are just discussing soldiers, whose primary concern should be their honor) of a young unmarried woman is in her status as a virgin; and nothing is so important as the keeping of that virginity until marriage.”

Are the writers this dense or are they messing with us?


Why do I continue to try and watch this? It’s a disaster.

Every episode is non-stop “humiliate and berate the titular character” while smashing you in the face with anachronistic references like using the phrase “pro tip” and vaping. There is so much cringe I fear I may suffer a cardiovascular event.


EDIT: I eventually got through season one and it’s a stupid ugly mess. I won’t be bothering with season 2.

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