Dear Criminal Masterminds

So I’m buying a 15“ powerbook to replace my current 12”. I threw the 12“ up on graigslist since I had a good experience with it when I sold my G5.

Today I get this gem.

HELLO, I WILL LIKE TO PURCHASE YOUR ITEM. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THE ITEM IS STILL AVAILABLE. WHAT IS THE WEIGHT OF THE ITEM. GET SOON. THANKS.

Yeah. I’ll get right back to you. Of course I imagine if I did respond I would be getting a fake cashiers check in the mail.

Some tips for criminal masterminds wanting to scam people on craigslist:

  1. Learn english grammar. I know it’s hard but the payoffs are so worth it. Perhaps hire a scam proofreader?

  2. The ALL CAPS message is a dead giveaway. Normal sentence capitalization is the way to fly here when trying to disguise yourself as a legitimate buyer.

  3. Mentioning the actual item in your scam message instead of ”THE ITEM“ gives your scam message that personal touch that sellers are looking for in a scam. Again, I know it’s hard for a busy criminal to dedicate some personal attention to each scam, but perhaps you could rig up a little mail merge that includes the title of the post?

By following these tips I’m sure you’ll get a better response rate, and much closer to your ultimate goal of ending up in a federal prison.

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